In today’s digital age, social media has become an integral part of our lives. For me as with many of us, it’s a love-hate relationship. It is resourceful while also overwhelming us with a cacophony of noise. I’ve shut down my Instagram not once but twice and started a new account for the third time. 3rd time’s a charm I guess.
This is not the main focus of the message today but forms an integral part.
One of the challenges I’ve encountered is the struggle to differentiate between ‘real’ and online friends. It might sound strange to think about this, but I believe it’s a valid subject to explore. It brings me to an interesting thought: why don’t we apply the principles of minimalism to our social circles, just as we do to our homes?
The minimalist movement encourages us to de clutter our living spaces and simplify our lives, but what if we extend this philosophy to the people we surround ourselves with? I’m not suggesting that we should limit our friendships to 5 friends, just as we might limit our kitchen items to 5. Instead, let’s consider periodically cleaning up our friends’ list – both online and offline – to find clarity and purpose in our social connections.
A few years ago, Our reverent shared a beautiful perspective on this, and it’s such an interesting way to look at the different layers of our connections.
Porch Friends: The Porch is where you’ll find most of the people in your life, kind of like your digital space. Think of your Facebook and Instagram friends, and even the friendly faces you pass in the mall or on the street. You might not see them often, but you exchange pleasantries. They’re the colleagues at work or acquaintances.
Living Room Friends: In the Living Room, you invite friends over for a nice chat and socialising. These friends are a bit more intimate, and you might share some personal details with them. They’re fewer than your ‘Porch’ friends because these relationships require more time and effort.
Kitchen Table Friends: Your Kitchen Table is a special place. Here, you gather with close friends who you trust deeply. These are the people you share your secrets, dreams, and fears with. They make up a smaller, more select group compared to your Living Room friends.
Bedroom Friends: Your most cherished space is the Bedroom. These are the people you consider family and the very few who’ve earned the title of “soul mate” friends. They’ve been with you since birth, school, university, or you’ve met them recently, but the connection is profound. These friends know your most intimate details, your hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets.
This message resonated deeply with me.
I used to want all my friends and acquaintances to be “bedroom friends,” people who knew me inside out, shared my dreams, and connected with me on a profound level. I believed that the digital world could make this a reality, but as time went by, I realized that true friendship extends beyond the virtual realm and requires physical presence. The tendency to over share my life with everyone, treating each acquaintance as an intimate confidant, led to some heartache over the years.
So, how did I fix this and start protecting myself without sacrificing my desire for deep connections?
I periodically sifted through my friends and followers, assessing the value they added to my life. If a connection left me feeling sad, stressed, or negative, it was time to let go. I unfollowed, unfriended, or muted those who didn’t contribute positively to my well-being.
Instead of pursuing quantity, I shifted my focus to quality. I sought to interact with individuals who inspired, encouraged, and uplifted me. By doing so, I cultivated a circle of friends who not only made me happy but also added value to my life.
Oversharing had been my downfall, but I learned to be more mindful of the content I shared. Instead of pouring my heart out on every platform, I began to reserve my innermost thoughts and experiences for trusted friends who had proven their worth.
The journey toward minimalism and protecting myself from oversharing was not a one-time process; it’s an ongoing commitment. It’s about maintaining a physical and digital space that aligns with my values and offers peace, inspiration, and authenticity.
Each of these friendship spaces is unique and valuable in its own way. As you navigate life, remember to appreciate and nurture the connections that matter most, from your Porch to your Bedroom.
Have something to share or add – leave me a comment.
E xx
Cover Image: Evelyn Paris – Unsplash
The Travellingmind 